The Incident "The Hospital"
When I started to wake up it took a while, to fully become conscious until the medication wore off. When I tried to talk I quickly realized it took a lot of energy and I could not talk normally. I would later find out when they went to intubate me, my jaw locked up and they had to force the breathing tube down my throat. In doing so they scratched my vocal cords. For the next three months, when I would talk, it took a lot of energy and my voice was hoarse.
When it finally set in and I realize where I was, my first question was, “Can we go back up north tonight?” Sarah chuckled a little and asked me if I had any idea what day it was. Hmm I went to sleep on Friday, “Saturday” I answered. She proceeded to tell me it was Wednesday! Sh&*$ Do I still have a job?” Being a teacher, not calling in sick and not having sub plans prepared is highly frowned upon! It turned out that Sarah got in touch with a coworker of mine and he informed my principal of what was going on. Thank goodness!
After we resolved one crisis, I happened to look down at my ribs. “What is coming out of me?” I asked in a panic. They informed me about my collapsed lungs and having to put tubes in. “Will I have those in the rest of my life?” Again, everyone laughed at what I thought was a reasonable question. Remember, I was still a little drugged up at this point! They reassured me they would be removed when my lungs had healed enough. Phew two for two so far today!
While I was unconscious for four days they did not feed me at all. I lost a lot of weight, most of which was muscle (Not that I had a lot of muscle to begin with). I was excited to eat my first meal that night. Little did I know, they had me on a pureed diet because of my throat. There is nothing worse than ordering a pork roast and you get a pureed lump of pork, that has been crafted to resemble a normal pork roast. I would not eat anything but fruits for the next couple of days. The speech therapist threatened to put a feeding tube in, I told her to go ahead, but I was not going to eat that crap!
The more I was starting to come to, the more hope the doctors had about my recovery. I was able to move my limbs on command, which was very promising. Their biggest fear was if I would have any lingering side effects that would affect any functions of the brain.
One of the things I noticed right away was I could not sleep at night. I would sleep for an hour or two and then be awake for a couple of hours. Looking back, I think it was more of a psychological thing more than I realized about going back to sleep. Sarah, bless her heart, spent every night in the hospital. She slept in a chair by my side for the entire week. When I would wake up in the middle of the night, it was the only real time I had by myself. Those were the times I would try to process everything. I would think, why me? why my family? What would have happened if I didn’t make it? How would Sarah have handled it? What would Carter do without having a father? Those were the times when I could not control my emotions. Tears would start rolling down my cheeks, but I made sure not to make much noise because I did not want to wake Sarah and show her how scared I really was!
Thursday morning when I awoke, I told the nurse I needed to use the bathroom. I had a catheter in to help with this. I asked the nurse if they could remove it today so I could go to the bathroom normally. It turns out I would have to wait until later that day, but she eventually got the go ahead from the doctors. She came in, told me she was going to remove it. She didn’t tell me anymore and with a quick yank it was out. HOLY HELL! What in the world just happened? I had a tube yanked out of a place it didn’t belong and the burning that followed! I have no idea what an UTI is like, but I can imagine something like that feeling!
I had been asking the doctor to get my chest tubes out since Wednesday. Thursday, they informed me the doctor would be by at 6 a.m. Friday to take my tubes out. Of course, I did not sleep at all Thursday night. I was anxious and nervous about getting my tubes out. Six o’clock finally rolled around and in strolled the doctor. I asked Sarah to leave because I didn’t want her to see me going through anymore pain. The doctor told me to count to three and on three take a deep breath. One, two, three! I took the biggest breath I could. As I did, he made a quick yank of the tube! I simultaneously gritted my teeth and smiled. “How did that feel he asked?” I replied with, “Wonderful! Can we just hurry up and get the other one over with?” He tied up the suture to close the wound and he was off to the other side. It was not an excruciating pain, it felt like getting a cardboard paper cut on your side! That is the best way I can describe it. Now, I have two lovely slit marks on my side as a daily reminder of this horrific experience.
Not only was I re-teaching my body how to properly walk, I also had to learn how to breathe while walking. With a collapsed lung breathing was just as much of a challenge. When I would go for a walk, I would often find myself short of breath, so we started out doing short distances. I would only walk three times a day and it would only be to a room or two down the hallway, then head back to my room. My nurse would follow me with my IV bag, while holding on to a belt they made me wear. That was in case they needed to hold me up if I were to lose my balance. I would get so winded and tired out because of the lack of oxygen my lungs could take in!
As I progressed with my walking they would gradually increase the distances I was allowed to walk. After about 4 days of walking, I was finally able to make a whole lap around my hospital floor. Keep in mind this was not a big hospital, so the lap was not very long. They decided to have me try stairs. After mastering walking again, how hard could stairs be? I would soon find out, even to this day stairs is one of my biggest challenges. Something happened that must have thrown off my depth perception. It is hard for me to judge stairs and the distance to go down unless I am really paying attention. I have only fallen off a ladder twice since the incident!
I had been asking since Thursday when I could go home. They were thinking about releasing me Friday, but Sarah made the decision to spend one more night just to make sure everything was OK. The doctors were amazed by the progress I was making and were baffled there was no signs of any side effects. Before they discharged me I had to have all of my follow-up consultations scheduled and I needed a walker to use at home. Who else would I call, but my Grandma! Never in my life, did I think I would need to use one of my Grandma’s walkers!
After we were all packed up, we went down and said our goodbyes and thanks to all of the nurses in the ICU who took care of me. I cannot thank them enough for everything they did for me and my family! After that we were headed to the car. My stubbornness wanted to walk out of that hospital to prove a point, but the nurses made me sit in a wheelchair. I cannot describe the overwhelming emotions that came over me going outside that first time. As the door opened and I felt the gentle breeze blow against my face, a tear rolled down my cheek. It was a little thing I may have never experienced again! As they wheeled me to the car the sun hit my face, it was like a light had been turned on in the middle of the night letting me know I needed to wake up and take advantage of this second opportunity in life that has been given to me!
Lesson: Every day is a blessing! Cherish and make the most of it!
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