Plus 1

My wife works 12 hour nights, as a nurse at a local hospital. Before you start feeling bad for her, remember I am teacher who gets summers off and she still works less than I do, while making a decent amount more. She just came home from working a 12 hours shift and was headed to bed. I told her she should sleep on a towel in case something were to happen while she was sleeping. She was 39 weeks along and we were anxiously awaiting our sons arrival.

While she was sleeping I decided I needed to get some yard work done. I got the lawn mower out of our shed and started to cut our grass. I hooked up my Iphone to Pandora and was all set to jam out while getting some work done. I made my first row around our entire yard, when I saw some movements out of the corner of my eye. I looked up towards the back of our house and there was my wife standing on our patio with a towel between her legs. I didn’t take my headphones off and tried to ask her what was going on? She pointed to her stomach, I ripped my earphones off, ran up to the house and this was the conversation that pursued;

me: “What, and where are your pants?

wife: “My water just broke while I was sleeping!”

me: “Were you sleeping on a towel?”

wife: “No! I didn’t think anything was going to happen!”

me: How is the bed? was my first thought. “So what do we do now?” was what actually came out.

wife: “I don’t know I have to call the doctor and see what they say”

me: “So I probably don’t have time to finish cutting the grass?”

wife: “No! we have to get our stuff ready in case we need to go to the hospital!”

So as I was getting everything all packed up in the car, I stripped all the bed linens off the bed, because there was no way I was going to leave with that grossness still on the bed.

I couldn’t help but think of how funny our yard looked with just one row mowed around the entire yard and when was I going to get a chance to finish cutting it. Well, it turns out that it was a good thing I put the lawn mower away because we needed to get to the hospital right away, or so she was told on the phone.

We were finally all loaded up and on our way to the hospital. I was driving and my wife was in the passenger seat, sitting on a towel, trying to keep her fluids from leaking all over the our nice leather seat. We pulled up to the front of the hospital, like a 1st class individual, had valet park our car for us. I think that may be the only time in my life I have had valet park my car for me! We checked in, got to our room and were all ready to have our baby boy grace us with his presence. Well turns out he may not have been on the same time schedule as we were.

After we were in the room, the nurse came in and informed us that after someone’s water breaks they have up to twelve hours to get to the hospital. Dammit, I could have finished cutting the grass! Of course I didn’t say that out loud, but here we were already in the hospital. Since we were already there, we had to stay until she delivered the baby.

After getting all checked out by the nurse, establishing a plan, my wife wanted to try to get some sleep. It turned out harder than she thought. Nurses and doctors were coming in to check on her every hour. She wanted to have a normal delivery and if it didn’t start within 24 hours of her water breaking, they would have to induce her. Her OB suggested she see if pumping would help stimulate her and start her contractions.

Once she starting pumping she actually started to have some contractions. Holy man, this is it. Here We Go! She continued to pump every hour and then walk down the hallway in between to established a routine. When she would sit back down her contractions would go down, so she would start it all over again. This continued for three  or four hours until the doctor came in and told her to put it on hold for the night, try to get some sleep and she’d pick it back up in the morning. The doctor said they would give her an ambien to help her get a good night sleep and would check in on her in the morning. She took the ambien, said good night and we were all tucked in and waiting to see what the morning would bring.

Well, needless to say, we wouldn’t have to wait for the morning. A half hour after she took the ambien she started to have more intense contractions. Great! She’s going on 3 hours of sleep, just took an ambien and now her contractions are starting!

The nurse told me to grab and hold a leg. Are you serious? “When does the curtain drop so I don’t have to see anything south of the border?” I actually asked. The doctor laughed at me and said that only happens in movies.  Well I didn’t want to see it! I grabbed one of her legs and was her counter. In between contractions she would actually put her head down and fall asleep while waiting for the next one. I could always tell when the next one was going to come because her numbers would start to climb on the monitor, so I was able to ready myself each time.She started to have her contractions around 10 o’clock at night. It was a constant of needing to go the bathroom, back to bed, fill up the tub to sit in it for a whole fifteen minutes, back to bed and then start the routine all over again. This went on for the next eight hours. At 6:30 a.m. the doctor came in, checked her, and she was fully dilated. “How are feeling?” asked the doctor. “Little light-headed, but I’ll make it” I replied with a smirk. The doctor shot me a look and told me to sit down if I needed to. I quickly realized that was not a funny joke at a time like this. The doctor explained that dads have fainted before in the delivery room. Chalk that up as a lesson learned. The doctor told my wife when she was ready she could start pushing. This is it! Finally time for her to push. My son would be here any minute now.

“Oh, what a full head of hair he has,” I heard the doctor say. Alright this is it! As much as I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but peak every now and then to see what was going on down there. It was like watching a car crash, as bad you know it’s going to be, you still can’t help but watch. I saw the top of his head and his hair. Couple more pushes and he’d be out. Nope! Wrong again. His head would peak out a little, then go back in. Peak out a little more, then back it. It was like whack a mole in the delivery room! Every time you thought this was going to be the one, his head would disappear then popped back out a little farther than before. After another hour and a half later of pushing she finally delivered our son!.

As the doctor pulled him out she asked me if I wanted to cut his cord. Of course! After what I just witnessed, this was the least gross thing all morning. Hoping I would cut his right cord! It was not just a quick snip like I thought. I had to take four or five snips to get through the thing! They took him, gave him to my wife right away. She got to spend a few minutes with him before they took him away to make sure he was healthy and doing well.

After they took him, they weighed and measured him. He was a whopping 8 lbs and 7 oz and 21 3/4 in long. Mommy and baby were both healthy and doing wonderful! I was finally a dad! Only thing is no one told me about, or prepared me for his meconium poops that were soon to follow and that I was going to have to change them!

Lesson: When racing off to hospital it doesn’t matter how your yard looks or other little things in life. Try to take it all in and enjoy the miracle that birth is! Did anything funny happen during your delivery? I would love to hear about it!
 
P.S. Don’t joke about being light-headed in the delivery room!